Monkeys of the Caribbean!
by alleajandra
Summary: If you stayed through the credits and you saw the monkey taking the Aztec gold...this is what it's about! MONKIES ATTACCKKK! NO flames plz!
1. Return of theCaptain

I don't own PotC, any PotC characters, Aztec Gold, etc. But I do own Monkies of the Caribbean as it was my idea. But this isn't for profit, so please don't sue or something! Thanks!  
  
If you had stayed after the credits you would have seen what had happened! The monkey, Jack, took the Aztec gold again! What does this mean for us? Why, a sequel to the movie made by ME! So, enjoy!  
  
Monkies of the Caribbean!!!!!  
  
Will looked over at Elizabeth. She was everything he ever wanted. He only hoped that she felt the same way about him.But of course she did. He saw the way she looked at him. It was love, pure love.  
  
A tap at the window snapped Will out of his trance. "Did you hear that, too?" inquired Elizabeth. Will nodded and crept up to the window. Suddenly a man popped up into view, startling Will and causing him to fall on his posterior. "Will! How good to see you, mate! And Elizabeth love! How are you?"  
  
"Jack," exclaimed Elizabeth. She stepped on the fallen Will to help the pirate in the window. "You're drunk, you bloody pig," she squealed. "That squeal sounded like a bloody pig, you wench," replied Jack, swaying drunkenly. "I've got some news for ye! This whole thing isn't over."  
  
The formerly passed out Will sat up abruptly, "The goddamn monkey! It was the monkey, wasn't it!" Jack gave him an odd look, "Yes.how the hell did you know?" Will's face shadowed a scared look as he told his tale.  
  
Will's Tale:  
  
After the curse was broken and Barbossa was killed, I was left standing there while Jack poked the boobs of a gold statue and Elizabeth swooned afer him. I swear to bloody hell, you're so smitten over ever bloody pirate you see. They become like, your role models. Am I not sexy enough for you? Is that it? HM?! Anywho.While you were doing that, I was still standing there with the knife in hand and blood dripping. I got a little pissed off, so off I went to entertain myself by attracting sharks with my blood. SO WHAT?!?! I'm easily amused. But when I went to the water's edge, lo and behold, the monkey! He showed me so much compassion in that moment, that I decided to bring him to safety and shelter. I forgot for a moment that he really liked the gold. And that I forgot to lock the chest. And that the monkey was really against us. Which was kind of stupid. But my sex appeal makes that not matter.  
  
Jack and Elizabeth stared at him blankly. "Well, that was really stupid, mate." Said Jack. Elizabeth threw her limp body onto the bed and started screaming, "The monkeys! THE MONKEYS DAMMIT!" Will himself ran to the corner and whispered his mantra, "The grass is green, the sun is warm, I am super sexy. Sexy. Sexxxxyyyy.No harm can behold me because I am the teenage attraction for this movie."  
  
Review! Chapter 2 coming soon! Please gimme some ideas! 


	2. MONKEYS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

The next morning, Elizabeth and Will left with Jack aboard the Black Pearl. Day 5.  
  
"Elizabeth, we must talk in private," Will whispered, pulling Elizabeth into the room they shared. "Love," he began, "you're chasing after the pirate again."  
  
"WHAT?!" screamed Elizabeth in such a terrible voice that Will's body was flung against the wall. "Liz. Let. Me. Down. Stop. Screaming. Pain."  
  
"Will! I'm so sorry, I really must stop doing that.it's just."  
  
"Just shut up.my ears are ringing.Anyways, you're lusting over Jack..."  
  
"THAT WOULD BE CAPTAIN JACK TO YOU MISTER," screamed Jack as he jumped out from under a table. Will screamed girlishly and Elizabeth's mouth started salivating. "Oy, you scream like a girl, mate," said Jack. Will's face twisted in some random shape and Elizabeth started shrieking, "Five frickin days! FIVE! Five days of you randomly making that face." Her voice trailed off as Jack exclaimed, "It's the bloody sea, love. It always makes him sick for the first week or so. The camera trys not to capture it too much. Isn't that right, Will." In reply, Will lurched over and blew chunks all over Elizabeth's cleavage-y dress. "You bloody wench! My new dress," screeched Elizabeth, sending Will into spasms.  
  
"Love, you must really stop screeching in that horrid voice, savvy?" said Jack. Elizabeth turned to him suddenly. Stood still for a moment and then proclaimed, "Too long have I slept with only Will." but she was cut off as Jack said, "Will said you never really slept with him.Will said you said." but Elizabeth cut him off saying, "BESIDE THE POINT! The point IS, I WANT YOU!!" And with that she flung her limp body on Jack leaving Will squirming in agony on the floor in his own chunks, whispering his mantra yet again.  
  
Jack shuddered and shoved Elizabeth off him saying, "Really, get off me. It's disgusting. You shower too much and.you talk funny." Elizabeth looked shocked as she said, "I. Talk. Funny.?" Jack gave a forced smile and continued, "You see.when you talk your mouth moves.strangely."  
  
Elizabeth looked like a deer caught in headlights for a moment, then abruptly slapped Jack and left. "Oy, did NOT deserve that. I was only telling the truth." Will finally pulled himself up, using a chair as a pully and said, "You just insulted my woman you slob. And you refused to sleep with her. Are you too good for her or something? Bloody pirate!" Jack chuckled a little until Will punched him and walked out. Jack then muttered, "Ok, maybe deserved that." Before he took a swig of his rum. This was going to be a long long trip. 


	3. You brought WHAT on board?

Elizabeth stormed into Jack's room muttering, "Move my mouth funny, eh? I'll let HIM move his own mouth funny when he sees this. Bloody pirate.".  
  
Jack followed a storming Will across the deck. "Oy, Willy. I didn't mean it. I mean, your bonnie lass is very nice. She's just.not my type. And I think you could do better too." As soon as Will heard Jack's last words, he spun around and said, "You know any other women? NON-pirate women?" Jack grinned and nodded. Will's eyes bulged and he exclaimed, "BRING ME TO THEMMMMMMM!" Jack gave a sly half smile and nodded in agreement. Will skipped after Jack as he led him to the galley.  
  
Elizabeth looked over her work. She should be payed to do this kind of thing. She nanced out of the room, holding back fits of giggles.  
  
Jack swung open the doors of the galley and gave Will a smile over his shoulder. Will screamed, "FANGIRLS DAMMIT! YOU BROUGHT A LOAD OF FANGIRLS!" Jack looked confused and said reassuringly, "They're great for a lil game, mate. Honest. They're really easy to convince if ya know what I mean." Jack looked over the crowd and picked out a girl. Walking over to her, he took her arm. The girl screamed in a blood curling screech and her eyes rolled up in her head.  
  
The other fangirls looked very disappointed until one of them said, "OMG! It's WILL!!!!!!" All the girls erupted in shrieks and hysteria as they moved in on Will. "NO! NOOOOOOO," Will exclaimed as he turned and ran away as fast as he could.  
  
Jack shrugged as he watched his friend dash off across the deck, a swarm of blood-thirsty fangirls chasing after him. Then he gave a smile to "the chosen one" and pulled her towards his room. 


	4. MY RUMMM!

Disclaimer: I already explained that I don't own PotC.but now I'm saying I don't own some other things.like the Radioheads and their songs.  
  
Jack gave a sly smile as he turned the doorknob of his room. The fangirl squealed and started hyperventilating. Jack shook his head, he was used to the fangirl's antics..but he also knew that they were.easy to.erm.seduce? No, not the right word.uhm.get drunk? YES! That was the phrase.  
  
The fangirl emitted a pericing squeal and screamed, "OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR ALREADY!" Jack's eyes shrunk back into his skull as he swung the door open.and he practically fell over with fright..  
  
Meanwhile..the fangirls had begun to sing terribly off-key, "I'm so in loveee with youuuuu/ I sing the chorus twice for youuu/ 'cause I'm so in love with youuuuuuu/ I wrote this song to show you how I feeeellll/ I understand that this was our dealllll/ a love song for a sexual favorrrr." But then Will cut them of, "SEXUAL WHAT?! WHAT ARE YOU SPEAKING OF YOU DEVILS!!?"  
  
(a/n: that song was I'm So In Love With You by the Radioheads.)  
  
Will looked around for an escape...but noticed that the girls had cornered him.The only way out was...  
  
Jack screamed, "MY RUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!" He sunk to his knees as he looked at the millions of broken bottles strewn across the floor. The fangirl slowly back away as Jack began to sob. His eyes filled with tears as he saw the honey colored liquid that held the key to his life, soaking into everything. He immediately ran over to his bed and started sucking on the blankets, trying to salvage the rum.  
  
He looked up, his eyes blazing. She would pay for this. She'd already ruined his rum once.she wasn't going to get away with it again. 


End file.
